This is Three.
stories and snippets from the frontlines of age three.
Age 3 - General
It’s easy to get lost in the midst of life, especially when there’s people older and people younger. So maybe if you just grab a handful of cookie while everyone else is busy, then it won’t be a big deal…okay, so turns out it was a bigger deal, and now people are getting irritated and maybe even ANGRY at you. What?!
So they made it to their 3rd birthday, and this year is going to be smooth sailing, and…wait, does it sometimes feel like there’s regression instead of progression? Don’t flip out. It’s called testing. It will likely be a big, huge, gigantic part of this year. Don’t say yes to everything. Don’t say no to everything. Show up and be consistent.
They will learn that it’s normal for everyone - including and maybe especially their parents - to go from one emotional state to another rapidly, and back and forth, and that it’s okay to have different emotions and still be the same (wonderful!) person.
A huge part of testing will be a careful - and sometimes sly - observing of your reaction to their deeds and misdeeds.
Age three is a FANTASTIC preamble for teenage years later on! Emotional reversals, temperament shifts, inexplicable and hard-to-understand behaviors and response to behaviors…there’s some great parallels.
Don’t force them to say they’re sorry. They need to begin a deeper understanding of why something might be harmful or mean or inappropriate, and learn appropriate ways of responding and communicating after they’ve done something that requires a parental response or involvement.
If they make a mess, don’t just clean it up for them. Help them. But don’t do it all for them.
‘I can do it all by myself!’ A lot of this. A lot.
New imaginations might bring new fears.
Their emotions are real. They get their feelings hurt. They show care and concern and compassion and anger and self-consciousnessness and anger and all of it. Don’t dismiss it, don’t brush it aside, and help find ways for them to express and navigate these appropriately.
They’re probably using pronouns pretty well.
Love make believe, making stories up, dressing up, etc. which probably means lots of doing so with toys, dolls, figures, props, and costumes.
Like to stack stuff. Like blocks and…stuff.
Learning to pedal a tricycle.
‘The experts say…’
Teach them how to be safe around motor vehicles and automobiles and stuff that’s moving.
Wear a helmet when they’re riding something that moves.
Wear life jackets around water. But don’t think you can let your guard down just because they’re in a life jacket.
Keep dangerous stuff locked up or out of reach. They get super good at this age, if they’re not already, at getting into stuff.
Keep them in car seats while driving.
Brush their teeth every day. Preferably at least twice. Teach them how to spit toothpaste instead of swallow. Take them to the dentist/dental hygienist twice a year for cleanings.
Read with them every day.
They ‘should’ be able to be separate from their parents for some length of time with some ease.
Should be running and climbing fairly well.
Using multiple sentences (2-3) at a time. :)
Child 1 (girl)
36 months (July)
Enjoys helping out with her newborn little brother. Sometimes that helping can take an enthusiastic form, such as a facial massage that he lacks the verbal skills to decline, but manages to convey he is not altogether pleased about it. She can be persistent in trying to aggressively help him, and sometimes it can be a challenge to help her dial back the helping of her brother, or more accurately, the persistent and enthusiastic manner in which she sometimes wants to help.
37 months (August)
38 months (Sep)
I love - LOVE - the sound of our daughter belting out “Baa Baa Black Sheep.” Over and over. Sept 10, 2010
39 months (Oct)
40 months (Nov)
41 months (Dec)
Takes great pleasure in showing off for her younger brother. Specifically, showing off her great agility and skill in doing things like running circles around him while he lies on the floor, watching her with five-month old adoration while her feet skip dangerously close to his body. Current favorite: Feliz Navidad, as she gallops laps around him on the living room floor. December 18, 2010
Has become adept at explaining things - life in general - to her younger bro. For example, she loves to educate him on what music is playing. “Do you know what this music is? It is M-I-A. Can you spell it? M, I, A. And this is…Arcade…can you say ‘Fire?’ Arcade Fire.” Dec 22, 2010
42 months (Jan)
Really into Curious George books
Also: playing Duck Duck Goose, Ring Around the Rosie, and any sort of calisthenics and stretching exercise
43 months (Feb)
44 months (Mar)
“I’ll be going on a date with Aunty Leanna next week,” she informed us. 3-17
Regarding interacting with people outside her circle. “Ignore” is the operative word.
“Hi, what’s your name…I like your dress?”
Blank stare. Hand into mouth.
“Oh, she’s shy, isn’t she…”
It feels like she is not getting enough sleep. Possibly because she’s not getting enough sleep? She was lying in bed last night, awake, at 9.30, couldn’t go to sleep, calling for us…hilarious.
Also, very trying for us. She will be up in the 6am range regardless of what time she goes to sleep. 3-28-2011
45 months (Apr)
Very into storytelling. “…there was a fire at City Sanctuary, and…”
Very into teasing. She says to me “Hey stinkyboy.” No idea where she came up with it.
“Is this the White Stripes?” - a real question she asked me.
“Would you like to snuggle with me, Dodes?” That’s what she calls me. Dodes. Never woulda guessed that would be the name my child landed on. But I love it. And my answer? Always, I said. Always.
Nailed down supercalifraji…today. Yep, got it down. 4-19
FIRSTS: First haircut! 4-11
47 months (Jun)
My nickname for her is “The Negotiator.”
Merry-go-rounds. Swinging and growling and sneering at her younger brother as he plays alongside.
Great joy at the “hey, don’t bump me while you’re swinging!” game.
FIRSTS: Learning to sew! 20110610
Child 2 (boy)
42 months
Playmobile, especially a pirate ship.
46 months
47 months
Great at helping out with food - a growing interest. Specialty: making tofu. 20140627
Likes to think of dreadful things to do to me if he’s not getting what he wants, like telling me he’ll drop my phone on the floor, or spill a bunch of food on my head, all in a straight-faced, inimitable drawl.
Child 3 (boy) - Age 3 from 2019 - 2020
Singing. Oh, the singing. Love love love love. When his younger brother starts fussing, launches into a mashup of different worship songs including Jesus Loves Me and Jesus Loves the Little Children. Love.
The rituals of eating. The most patient three-year old I have experienced with eating. Wants to wait until everything is set up, everyone is ready, we’ve blessed the food, does not want anyone eating before everyone is ready. I love how tuned into the process and ritual he is.
As of April (3y3m), wants his mom to tuck in and lay by him. This has been a shift over the last month from me. Very matter of fact and respectful about it. Just a reality he has created. The idea that “this is me and Mama’s thing.” I bear no ill will, though I do sometimes long for those times as I’m battling with a seventh-month old to get to sleep…and stay asleep in his crib.
Potty training. Huh? What? Too many other things to do. Actually…interested if and when he can do homework, read a book, or watch Sesame Street. Once in a while some pee ends up in there. Nothing else as of 3y 3m.
Washing dishes. Or really…anything in the kitchen. But he has taken on dishwashing as a personal obligation, and can spend thirty minutes at the sink, perched on a stool, cycling through the same dirty dishes - and clean ones - with the greatest attention to detail as he scrubs and brushes and washes away.
An intense interest in puzzles. Both in the literal and specific sense - doing puzzles - and in a more general sense - helping match socks and organize objects into logical components. I love the focus and commitment to execute play at a high level of proficiency: once one puzzle is finished, it’s immediately set aside and on to the next.
The joy of singing with abandon; of singing for everyone and for no one with no thought of audience save oneself. Absolutely beautiful.
Becca said it well, and it made my heart happy: “…there is something about this age, these ages of two, three, four, five that I love so much.” Me too.
Sitting down to play the piano, to bang out the melody in his heart - no, scratch that: he pulls out sheet music and announces each piece he’s playing as he makes his way through various verses that apparently come from whatever song book he’s reading…however, today’s verses primarily involved poop in some form, so I’m not entirely convinced that he’s sightreading from the Easy Learner Piano books…(May)
The time he spends making food. Real food in our real kitchen. And…less real food (e.g. grass, pine cones, etc.) in his outside kitchen (out front). He will spend hours and hours talking, singing, giving instructions to himself - or to whoever will play with him, as he prepares different dishes (e.g. Caterpillar Stew, various kinds of cakes and cookies, often involving combinations of a dessert with copious amounts of lettuce, spinach, and peas). (May)
The daydreaming. Oh, the daydreaming , the lying in bed at night and thinking aloud questions of the universe, such as “how do you tell the difference between a penguin and an alligator?” I love love love the thought process of finding so much joy in discovering and querying. (Sept)
Potty training and transitioning from somewhat dependable nap times to occasional “quiet times.”
Evolution of testing - such as ignoring us when we’re calling him and then explain it with something like “I didn’t hear you” or “I heard you but I didn’t really feel like looking at you” or something in between.
Rapid physical growth where emotions don’t always keep pace and sometimes crash suddenly.
Arms around the neck, full on body hugs and burying in your arms when he’s tired or sad. Love.❤️❤️
The sudden and total escalation of physical fatigue that appears as whining, grumbling, and collapse of reason.
Self-awareness and embarrassment. Wanting an increasing level of privacy.
Territorial issues with both older and younger brother : It’s my room too! to older; wanting to block off and take away toys that younger is trying to play with also. Which brings up the paradox of wanting lots of attention and someone to play games with - especially baking and cooking and picnics - but not wanting it to be a younger figure. (Oct 2020)
Child 4 (boy) - Age 3 from 2022 - 2023
36 months
With coaching from his 5-year old brother, begins to take an interest in using a toilet, rather than available garments and such for certain activities (Aug 28, 2022)
37 months
When his older brother is…using the bathroom, he just…hangs out there with him. They chitter-chat away, strategize, and talk about infinite topics for whatever length of time is necessary.
38 months
Likes to help with meal prep. Favorite task: chopping tofu and putting into pan.
39 months
Things he wants to do over the holidays together: go to a bean place and go to a pier by the water. also: decorate our house for Christmas, eat food, and get a Christmas tree.
41 months
With coaching from his 6-year old brother, sometimes takes an interest in using a toilet, rather than available garments and such for certain activities (January 24, 2023)
Jumping, bouncing, running, reading, drawing, making art, talking, reading, libraries, his mom, teasing his sister, helping make food…reading, dancing, wrestling, singing Annie songs, DJ-ing Spotify…(January 24, 2023)
42 months
Rediscovered his blue dress and green sweatshirt combo. February 2023
Super into camouflage…in conjunction with tutus and dresses. Has began layering clothing. Multiple layers of underwear and shorts, of shirts…
Oh, and by the end of February, I think we can say he’s…potty trained! Very swift segue, when he finally decided. Sits himself down, staying dry through the night. Very conscientious.
43 months
Loves loves loves his mom. Ongoing competition with his brother to see who gets to sit by her, kneel by her, climb all over, do anything with her. Also, he is really into…grandmas. He loves his actual grandmas, but he is very into the concept of grandmas too. March 2023
Reading. Books. Libraries. He will drop any number of things when someone is willing to read with him. March 2023
Very capable of having his feelings hurt. Deep, heaving sobs if he’s feeling left out.
Likes Daniel Tiger on PBS Kids.
Will do just about anything to get extra time with Becca.
44 months
Loves Memory Game. Will get up sometimes at 6am-ish to set up and wait for someone to play with him.
Will also get up early to draw. And draw and draw and draw and draw. The only things he might love more than drawing and Becca and Memory Game might be going to the library.
“I can do it myself.”
Has a special, running, giant flying hug he saves for his sister. She often follows up with a demand for a kiss, which at some point frequently turns into chinning and a wrestling match on some level.
People magazine. “Jennifer Garner is my girlfriend.”
45 months
Very into drawing…still. And memory game. And his mom. Crawls in with us midway through the night, always ends up sharing the middle of bed with his brother, bookended by their parents across the chasm.
Refers to his sister by her full name. Accompanied with hero-worship tone.
Speaks casually at a very loud volume.
Has begun digging his face, sometimes - not always -into one of our legs when we’re talking to someone and asking him to greet them. Reminiscent of his older sister at this age, but with less aggression.
Learns to pedal a tricycle, with training from his mom :)
46 months
47 months
