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If I don’t respond immediately, please know it is because I am doing something super dangerous or super cool that has taken me offline for a short while. Or, I might be changing a diaper. That’s occasionally a possibility.

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You can put your name here, if you'd like. Or nickname, or a completely false identity if you need to.
the subject could be something like: "thanks for being so awesome, and I love it when you write about the Greatest Song Ever!"
The message is what you actually want to say. Feel free to be constructive and truthful, as long as it's something that will make my heart leap with joy and not make me start crying. Unless it makes me super happy. Then I might start crying anyway.
 
Male hiker with serious expression walking through dangerous forest with various contraptions strapped to backpack.

Male hiker with serious expression walking through dangerous forest with various contraptions strapped to backpack.