It doesn't fly.

In the Richard Scarry classic Best Christmas Book Ever, there is a story entitled “Trouble at Santa’s Workshop.” In this story, Santa keeps his tools locked up at night to make sure his elves get their rest, which is a commendable, albeit authoritarian dictate to make in protection of the proletariat. But one morning he wakes up and his keys are lost. Can’t find them anywhere. He calls up his old friend Lowly Worm (who is a worm) to help. SPOILER ALERT: Lowly flies up and eventually helps by inserting his body into the keyhole and unlocking it. The tools are available, the elves can get back to work, and Christmas won’t be ruined.

Here’s the thing: first of all, the vehicle Lowly flies to the North Pole in is what author Scarry calls an “applecopter.”

It closely resembles a helicopter, which could potentially be grounds for copyright or patent infringement, but more importantly, it’s shaped like an apple (probably why it’s called an applecopter?). It’s completely non-aerodynamic. I’m not a physics guy or NASA or NASCAR expert or anything, but it’s clear from the illustration that there is no possible way this applecopter would ever fly. It’s ludicrous to expect children to believe that a worm - even a worm with flight training - could fly something that flies (pun intended) in the face of reality.

Also, and of lesser importance: Santa never finds his keys, which is a key (pun intended) plot point that is unresolved. Sloppy. Do better, Mr. Scarry.