GANDALF WOULD CHOKE (THIS IS A POLITICAL POST).

Daddy?
he asked, walking down the chilly street, elf hand in mine.
If Donald Trump had a white beard, would you like him more?

Umm...
I said.
What do you mean exactly?

Well,
he said.
It would look kind of funny if Donald Trump had a white beard and yellow hair because they don't really go together. Would you like him better if he had a white beard with yellow hair?

Hmmm...
I said.
That is a great question. I think that I would love to see him with a white beard because it would be intriguing and make me chuckle. However, I think that my disinterest in supporting his leadership at any level for anything would be largely unaffected by the addition of, or color of, his facial hair.

Yeah.
he said.
Me too.

Well,
I said.
I mean, you can vote for whoever you want, if you could vote. I just am not really inclined to vote for him probably ever.

Yep.
he said.
I don't think I will either. Did Ulysses S Grant have a beard?

The slanting rain picked up pace.

Yeah he did.
I said.
I dig your line of thinking.

Yeah.
he said, tugging his coat tighter, Steve Prefontaine locks glistening in the glitter chill night.
_____

Two additional notes I learned today:
One. The beard of Rutherford B. Hayes was not as profound as I had remembered it being in history books growing up. Thank you, Google, for shattering my memory.
Two. According to my daughter, combing the Inters: there was a fifty-year period during which every U.S. President except two had facial hair.
Pop quiz: who was the last President to have facial hair during his tenure? This includes any combination, alone or together, of beard, mustache, and sideburns.