OVERHEARD: Epitaphs, sex, catheters.

#1

“If I could get out of here right now, I would.”

• My dad, musing about epitaph ideas for his future tombstone

#2

“I’m a simple man.
I just want to have sex four or five times a year and play Mario Brothers.

• anonymous person I might be related to, who may or may not own four or five original Nintendos

#3

The silver-haired gentleman standing in the restroom glances behind him at the long line, then looks over at the twenty-ish fellow next to him. With a self-conscious, yet confident twinkle in his eyes, he announces:

"It takes a lot longer than it used to, but it sure beats wearing a catheter."

That is how to grow old. Self-awareness, confidence, and a lot of humor.

Top of the morning to you, Earth.