Joan Jett (I hate rock and roll).

If you need insight into just how rock & roll my wife is, she moved our son's drum set from downstairs, where it was banished to the fringes of audio consciousness, up to our living room, where it is now accessible, on demand, to our children as they work out song arrangements that make me imagine a jolly giant banging running chainsaws against a trio of metal dumpsters.

I don't know what I love more: their focused & frenzied faces as they gently bring our eardrums closer to death, or my wife, and her nonchalant chill about raising the decibel level of our home by 300 degrees. I hate rock & roll.

Just give me more of that rock & roll music. This is where it begins.