Those who color outside, the lines, and those who don’t realize there were lines to begin with.

People who argue about who would make a better President between Denzel Washington and Tom Hanks, and people who still insist that the January 6 Capitol riots were an Antifa-organized conspiracy.

Minimalists, and people who have hung onto their VHS collection.

Teachers who make students show their faces on Zoom, and teachers who cuss out the kids who don’t turn their cameras on in Zoom meetings, but don’t mandate it because…it’s complicated.

People who say Yes to everything because they can’t think of a reason not to, and people who say Maybe to everything on principle because that way you can keep your options open and maybe people will forget they ever asked you. (There’s nobody who says No to everything on principle.)

People who voted for Donald Trump the first time and regret it, and people who voted for Donald Trump the first time and have decided he’s the greatest Prez since Abe.

Those who wait to hike until it’s not raining, and those who are hikers.

Men who think Donald Trump’s blustering interruptions of others is a sign of strength, and men who have the strength to listen to others and aren’t afraid to call his actions out as those of a cowardly and pathetic bully.

Those who stick to watching a single genre or two of movies, and my dad, whose favorite two films are probably a) The Sound of Music, and b) whatever C-grade action flick just got added to Amazon Prime.

Men who talk loudly from a couch or bar stool about supporting women’s rights, and men who are busy sweeping, folding clothes, or helping make dinner while carrying on two-way conversations with women.

Those who post their New Year’s resolutions on Facebook, and those who accomplish them.

People who buy gift wrap, and people who wrap in brown paper or New York Times comics sections.

Those who use their rear view and side mirrors to back into a parking space, and those who start off doing so, and then crank their neck around to double check, and finally I open the door to see if I’m inside the white line on the drivers side.

Those who make themselves feel good by saying ‘liberals are all about feelings,’ and those who look for verifiable evidence and well-sourced facts before supporting a political candidate.

Those who consider Die Hard a Christmas film, and those who don’t think the baby Jesus is cute.

Those who show their coolness by knocking Comic Sans and those who are me, who did our wedding notes in it unapologetically.

Those who like talking about their gyms and fitness workouts and those who listen to Russian novels while hiking in the woods.

Those who say they listen to “all kinds of music,” and those who are not self-delusional liars.

Those who watch golf on television, and those who I might possibly watch the Super Bowl with someday.

Those who will vote for Donald Trump again, and those who think John McCain was truly a decent fellow, fine leader, and true patriot.

Those who loudly hate Nickelback, those who quietly like Nickelback, and those who are so excited about listening to Hayden’s Symphony in G-Minor for the fourth time that day that they don’t care what anyone else is listening to.

Those who leave the volume up extremely loud on their televisions and those who watch everything with closed captioning or subtitles even when their children no longer do naps because it makes sense and sort of feels like you’re reading.

Those who remove toilet paper bookmarks from library books before returning them, and those who are smart enough to use public libraries, but not thoughtful enough to hold doors open for other people.

Those who are able-bodied adults and return shopping carts when they’re done, and those who don’t tip at restaurants.

Those who accidentally drop their phone in a port-a-potty and say goodbye forever, and those who do so, but fish it out so they can sell it on eBay.

Those who look at clouds and know exactly what type they are, and those who look at clouds and imagine all the things and creatures and people and objects they might be.

Those who go hiking only in the summer months on sunny days, and those who I hike with.

Those who can’t problem-solve and troubleshoot any conceivable issue regarding construction, and those who are my dad.

Those who say firemen, and those who say firefighters.

Those who who think Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is hilarious, and and those whose senses of humor drowned in a deep lake.

Those who refuse to watch a movie adaptation without announcing at least six times that the book was waaay better, and those who are not the most annoying people in the world.

Those who use sandal, flip-flop, and thong interchangeably to refer to footwear, and those who get angry at those people for doing so.

Adults who dress up on Halloween, and adults who have given up on not being boring.

Those who turn their underwear inside out so they can wear them two days in a row without washing and thereby save water, and those who hate the environment.

Those who never lose their patience with children, and those who are parents.

Those who answer questions to end a conversation, and those who ask questions to start one.

Those who never misplace their coffee, and those who have too many ideas running through their head to waste time keeping track of a coffee mug.

Those who support public libraries, and those who support Satan.

Those who get excited about watching documentaries about such things as The History of 808 Synthesizers or the Genius of Tom Petty, and those who hate music.

Those who go to movie theatres by themselves, and those who are terrified to be seen doing anything by themselves in public.

Those who correctly fold fitted sheets, and those who hold out hope that someday they will learn how, but then end up folding them into a big giant ball and stuffing them under neatly folded pillow cases for a confidence-booster.