Iowa.

It used to be Star Wars. And sometimes still is. But now our evenings are filled with queries, observations, op-eds, and diatribes of the political sort (at this juncture, Palpatine and crew seem more palatable than many real life counterparts in the Senate, as well as those running who have only a vague notion of what a Senate is).

Anyway, the campaign has filled our household with vigorous proclamations and many, many, MANY trips to the mirror by our five-year old to comb out hair, squint eyes, purse lips, and practice faux-Trumpspeak, though he sounds more like a gravel-throated Jeff Spicoli auditioning for a Smurfs commercial. It is not homage.

I am compositing a handful of our son's comments and statements over the last 24-hour period. Why? Because. It's never too early to start paying attention to your country's governings and processes.

...POLITIK 2016.

"YES!!

he pumps fist, yells at dinner table upon hearing early numbers from Iowa.

Bernie Sandrews is defeating Donald Trump AND Ted Cruz because he has 49!

Daddy, can I look up funny pictures of Donald Trump? When I see a picture of him it just cracks me out. Can I look up pictures of Donald Trump punching a beach ball? Can I see if there's any pictures that are half Donald Trump half Ted Cruz?

Does Donald Trump have a mom? If he does is she nicer than him?

Is Ben Carson still a doctor since he picked himself to be president? What will he do for work if he's not President? Can he still be a doctor? Would people still call him doctor if he was president? Why doesn't he still want to be a doctor?

Ted Cruz sounds like Kermit the frog. Why does Donald Trump not like Ted Cruz? Why does Ted Cruz sound so mean?

I wish I could vote because I would vote for Bennie Sandrews because he's the oldest and says the most good things. I might vote for Rand Paul too, but probably Bernie Sandrews. Or both.

What is Donald Trump's father's name? Was he not very nice either? How old do you have to be to be President?

What if Ted Cruz was one hundred and sixty-five years old?"

And so on. Adults: don't think your meanness goes unnoticed, and it is not excused because you are in pursuit of a higher office to 'do good.' You are on notice.

Ecraison l'infante. Good night, and good luck to all.

— More posts below from 2016 —