What are we doing today?
she asked, not un-brusquely.
It’s been a while since my last haircut. I was thinking maybe I’d, uh, have you cut it so it looked kind of cool.
You tell me.
How short do you want it?
I was thinking definitely shorter than it is. Maybe enough to make it look cooler than it is right now.
Your hair is very long.
she agreed emphatically.
I’ll cut it. So you want like a more classic cut, or a more modern one?
What’s the difference?
Is that with the modern, I’d just take it all the way up on the sides so when it gets longer, it doesn’t flop around. Like it’s doing right now. It’s low-maintenance.
I usually spend between five and fifteen seconds a day on my hair, so low maintenance sounds good.
she said firmly.
That’s what I do with mine. Low maintenance.
I said, appraising her hairstyle in the mirror: shaved sides and partial back, with a modified long mohawk-style streak of jet black going down the middle.
Except for having to shave half of it every day.
I said, seriously.
My hair grows extremely fast. I have to use a foil razor on it every day or it grows to like a number one length.
I watched a documentary a while back,
About a type of bamboo in Southeast Asia that supposedly grows three feet per day.
I don’t know if it’s true,
I said truthfully.
Have you been watching the Olympics?
Saw the figure skating finale last night. Spellbinding!
I missed it,
It came down to the very end.
Between two Russian teenagers who were practice partners and teammates, and they were both incredible. The younger one ended up winning by barely a point, even the older one gave a stunning performance that was not only technically amazing, but emotionally...incredible. She started sobbing as soon as she was done. Gave it everything.
I’ll find it on YouTube tonight. I have to see it.
And if you want, you should check out a documentary on Netflix called Icarus. It’s about...doping in sports, specifically Russia’s longtime program for its athletes. An expose, I guess. Intense and suspenseful.
Sounds like I’d like it. I might. Netflix?
We settled in, and she cut a bunch of hair, and eventually she was done, and I paid and left my remaining hairs to be swept up and disposed of, in some way and in some manner.
Someday I’ll get it cut again. Until then: low-maintenance.