My father, while white water rafting:
"This is NOT enjoyable. It's like camping: you don't do it because it's fun. You do it because it will be a great memory."
He is like a whirlwind mashup of Will Rogers, Charles Barkley, Yogi Berra, and Harry Truman. A high-pressure, recirculating fountain of non-sequitur wisedom.
Thank you, universe, for sticking him in our corner. It is never dull. Dad, you are magnificent. I will raft with you any day of the week, as long as you are paying and if it is a big boat. Also, you should come camping with us. It would be fun.