Daddy, you have a big beard. It's very creepy.
- What?!?! You just insulted me, Zack Galifianakis, ZZ Top, and Brad Pitt. Very rude.
Oh, I'm not talking about them. Just you. It's just your beard that's creepy.
- So uncool. I hope a griffin swoops down and bites your ponytail off. Then maybe you won't be so horrid to me.
You're the worst daddy ever.
- You're smiling. That makes me think you're lying.
Well I'm not.
- I call your bluff. Now I'm going to attack you with my beard and prove my uncreepiness.
So I did. And then my grumpy son informed me that he hopes I get eaten by a minotaur. "Ha!" I said. "Let one try. I hope it chokes on my beard."
Another win for grizzly dads everywhere.