Finished watching the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympics earlier, and several thoughts came to mind. Eleven of them, as a matter of fact.
01. As a competitor, is it more desirable to get fourth place or to get last place?
That was a trick question. It's more desirable to get a gold medal. But, barring that, I would rather supremely succeed at failing by taking a dead-last place trophy than be in the agonizing position of being so close to the medal stand, yet failing. In a rather mediocre and heartrending way.
02. Simply seeing Usain Bolt walking on a track gives me goosebumps. I wish he and Michael Phelps could race each other, in a neutral competition. Like bobsledding.
03. There was a boy band playing at the ceremony. Forgot their name already. Also, there were such past luminaries as Eric Idle, Pet Shop Boys, and Madness performing, which was a well-deserved cherry atop luminous careers. Somehow, it bothers me that this nameless quintet of nimbies should have the opportunity to have this on their resume without having a proper appreciation of the magnitude of the honor.
04. Becca informed me that she would be happy if I started competitive diving or swimming. Yes, dear wife, all of the divers and swimmers are exceptionally lithe and muscular. I will try and start exercising sometime. Soon.
05. Where is Olympic dodgeball? Olympic stilt sprinting? Olympic hippety-hop aerials?
06. I really really want to visit London. And visit Scott Free Studios while I'm there.
07. The 1988 Seoul Olympics are the first ones I remember watching and really caring about. Florence Griffith-Joyner. Carl Lewis. Jackie Joyner-Kersee. Greg Louganis. The Ben Johnson steroid scandal. Those were the days. Legends.
08. I wonder which Gold Medal Winner will be the Least Successful Human Being in ten years? I.e. end up hocking their medal on eBay.
09. Bob Costas. Carson Daley. Old stuff. Let's get some fresh blood in there as commentators, like Stephen Colbert or Steve Carell. Or…both.
10. I am inspired by the Olympians; the competitors who trained and prepared and gave it their all. I am inspired to watch the next Olympics in Rio. Thanks for inspiring me, Olympians. Gonna eat some licorice now.
11. I am glad I chose not to compete in these Olympics. I have done so many more fun things over the last four years than train and exercise and prepare. I am just so glad I didn't compete. Good move, me.