I attempt to keep my mind open to new ways of doing things, but I haven't decided whether or not I should follow my son's advice for fixing a toilet:
"Okay Daddy, this is what you have to do: first you have to get a piece of cardboard, and then you need to get a hammer and a nail, and then you have to nail the cardboard onto the side of the toilet and then you need to put a jellyfish on the toilet seat. Then it will be fixed. Okay?"
- "Okay," I shrugged. "I have almost everything I need, but it looks like we may need to make one stop by the pet store."
It seems like there has to be an easier way to deal with plumbing issues, but he speaks confidently and seems to know what he's talking about. Wish us good fortune.
NEVER SURRENDER (REQUIEM FOR THE BEATLES)
Our children are extraordinarily successful at some things, like eating dessert, and really terrible at some things, as this little gem of dialogue illustrates:
"Why are you covering your ears?"
I asked my daughter as we were driving, the Beatles' Revolver scoring our commute.
She lifted her hands slightly enough to respond. - "I don't like the Beatles."
"What?!?! Since when?!"
Calmly. - "I like Cheap Trick now. And I do not like the Beatles."
Her brother's voice offered his own original assessment, in his own words: "Yeah, we like Cheap Trick now. We don't like the Beatles."
I kept my calm. "You know you can like BOTH."
She refused to budge. - "No, I don't like the Beatles now. Not one bit."
And...the Echo: "Yeah, we don't like the Beatles. Not one bit.
"WHAT don't you like about them?"
- "I don't like their voices. I don't like their songs. I don't like anything about them. Not even Octopus Garden."
I stuck to Reason: "You understand that you can like BOTH Cheap Trick AND the Beatles, right?"
My son, pre-emptive: "Yeah, but we don't like the Beatles. WE JUST LIKE CHEAP TRICK!!"
"That is ridiculous. You have loved the Beatles. In fact, that is a family rule: if you're in this family, you like the Beatles. That's a rule."
- "We don't like the Beatles!" They chanted in unison.
"Just because we've listened to Cheap Trick's 'Surrender' three hundred times in the last month doesn't mean you have to stop liking the Beatles. You can like them BOTH. Liking them both is not mutually exclusive."
- "That doesn't make sense," one replied.
- "Yeah, you don't make sense," another replied.
"You know what? You know what?"
"You guys don't make sense. And you DO like the Beatles. End of discussion."
- "We'll just whisper then, so you can't hear. And we do NOT like the Beatles."
I cranked up Good Day Sunshine as loud as I could, and the storm clouds gathered.
Our children are terrible at some things, as you can tell. Sad.