2016 Rio, or, Joseph vs. Hulk vs. Isaac Asimov Newton and Lemony Snicket

Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand
10.01 pm

For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.
Hard to disagree. Thanks, Lemony Snicket.

Rio 2016
10.01 am

Inexplicably, I feel great sadness at how long it is until the next Summer Olympics. I paid only token attention to London 2012, but woke up this morning and am oddly full-on enthusiastic about Rio 2016. Where do I go for press credentials?

Joseph vs. Hulk vs. Isaac Asimov Newton
4:54 pm

I asked: 
"Okay guys, who is stronger: me or Hulk?"

My son answered immediately: - "You!"

I said. "False."

My daughter thought briefly.
- "Umm...Hulk."

I said. "So, lesson for the day is that family loyalty should not trump the truth. And the truth is that Hulk is marginally stronger than me. Do you know what 'marginally' means?"

- "No."

"It means "barely,' or 'a little.'
So Hulk is barely stronger than me. That's a version of the truth that I'd like to perpetuate. Do you know what 'perpetuate' means?"

- "No."

"It means 'to keep going.' But we'll talk about that one more tomorrow. Who do you think is smarter: me or Isaac Newton or Isaac Asimov?"

- "You?"
My son answered.

I said sadly.

"Not yet."

Evel Knievel. Karl Wallenda. Batman.
They all had to start somewhere. Steady son, steady. Don't look at the crocodiles below.

Pet Lions
If I had a pet lion,
I hope he wouldn't smoke.
Or her; maybe it would be a her.
Lionesses do most of the hunting,
and I doubt many of them use tobacco products.

Richard Scarry has got to be one of the coolest cats ever. What a legacy. Although I still don't think lions should be smoking.

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