"You are the worst Daddy in the entire world."
My daughter stood in front of me and stated this with confident assurance, likely having no connection to my having put the kibosh on ice cream before bed.
- Thank you.
I replied calmly.
You are quite horrid yourself.
She glared at me, but the twinkle from her eyes began infecting the rest of her face and she turned tail to run, but one of the side benefits of being the Worst Parent Ever is that it makes you very nimble, so I easily overtook her, and was going to stuff her up the chimney, but then I remembered I'd left Claus up there ever since December when he never brought me the pogo stick I asked for.
So I just catapulted her onto her bed from thirty feet away and I heard some reference to Miss Trunchbull but I couldn't hear because I was already opening the freezer door.